10 Hours

There's ten hours between us tonight
And I feel like my heart will break
Cause it's been way too long
Since I've last seen your face
What I'd give if you were here with me now
And I was lost in your touch
If I know my heart
There's nothing I've ever wanted so much

But to love you
Just to love you
It's all I wanna do

There's ten hours between us tonight
And I feel like I could die
But all the pain would just 
Go away if I could look in your eyes

And love you
Just love you
It's all I wanna do

Cause I know you're the one
That I've been praying for
I could love you for a thousand years
And wish for a thousand more

There's ten hours between us tonight
But tonight can only last so long
By twelve o'clock tomorrow baby
You'll be here in my arms

And I'll hold you close to my heart
And I pray you feel my love
Until that day when time or space
Will never again separate us

And I'll love you
Oh, I'll love you
It's all I'll ever do
Cause I know you're the one
It just feels so right
Would it be ok with you
If I loved you for the rest of my life 

10 Hours: Warren Barfield 

...That song...man does that song tug at my heart and pull the tears right out...

God I miss him.

I miss him so much.

Today is just one of those days...I would give anything to have him here with me.

I got to talk to Zak today, which made for a good day, but we were both having a hard deployment day today so it seems. For about 5 minutes of talking to him I cried tears of happiness and sadness. What you say? Yes, both. I told my husband that I really missed his voice and he proceeded to tell me all of the things he misses about me, Grayson and our life together when he was home. Can you see how and why that would make for a smile and for a tear? In a strange way it made me so happy to hear what he was missing about me and our life together because the things he was saying, were the exact things that I think about and miss on a daily basis, so it made me happy to know that we are still in such complete and total sync even half a world away. But it also brought sadness because he is just that -half a world away, and even though I miss him so terribly much, it breaks my heart to pieces when he has hard days and misses us so much. I would give anything to take away his pain and sadness on those days. I know the pain I feel with missing him and I know how unbearable it can be at times, but I cannot begin to imagine how his heart must ache to be in such a Catch 22. He is doing what he loves, what he is good at...he lives, bleeds and breathes for it...he is one hell of a soldier...but at the same time, it makes him have to be away from what he loves, what he lives for and what he breathes for -us- but we are part of the reason he does what he does....because he is one hell of a husband and father...he is just one hell of a human being. So I cannot imagine the pull at his heart to miss us so much and wanting to be home, but at the same time wanting to stay and fight the fight to defend all that we hold dear. He is over there for reasons no one will know -as with every soldier- but he is also over there to defend Americas freedom, to find justice for what happened on the tragic day of 9/11...but on a more personal level he is over there for the ones that he loves most in the world to make sure we can continue to live our lives without fear and live the "lavishness that is America" as Ben Stein would say, and to also defend the honor of the men he has lost personally...and for all of those things and more, I could never imagine the place it puts him to have to leave his family and I truly admire and respect my husband for that.

As I said before, he is one hell of a soldier, father, husband and one hell of a human being.

I love you baby. Stay strong and stay safe.

until the end of all time