3 months down

3 months into deployment today.

Once again, I do not really know how to scale the time so far. Some days it feels like we have so much longer ahead and other days it feels like the days are going quickly.

I have decided to count it by how old Grayson is...don't ask me why but it doesn't seem like such a long time when I look at it this way:

Okay, Grayson is almost 8 months old (in 3 weeks), when he turns 8 months old, that means there are only 4 more months until he is 1 year old! And when he turns 1 year old, Zak will be home for R&R, and once Zak leaves from R&R there will only be 4 more months left of deployment ---> see, when you look at it that way it doesnt sound as bad as, "well its been 3/4 months and we still have 8 more to go" when you break it up a little like that, it seems like it will go by fairly quickly!

*Fingers Crossed*

The past couple of weeks I have been blessed to get to hear from Zak more than usual, which has just been absolutely amazing. However, I can't wait until he gets home and I dont have to wait for his call anymore, when there is no more bad internet connection just cutting off conversation with no warning...the day where I can just wake up and him be next to me, see him play with Grayson in person and not just on Skype is probably going to make me cry -happy cry of course.

When you think about it, it is almost insane how couples make it through deployments. Being separated for a full year, sometimes more in the Army, only getting to see your husband for 2 weeks out of that year. Going so long without a hug or a kiss from each other. Trying to show your affection through sending care packages and letters and photos. Relying solely on trust and communication....which can be hard when so many scare stories of what has happened to other soldiers and their marriages during deployment are running through your husbands head and when communication can be hard depending on how kind the internet wants to be when you do get to communicate. Worrying every second of every day. And that is on both ends. We at home worry about our soldiers and their safety and if they will make it home ---but our husbands are worrying twice as much...they are worrying about their own safety and if they will make him home to us as well, but also worrying about their wives and children back home without them because they are not here to protect us and make sure we are safe and sound at all times.

Deployment can either make or break you --- and I know I can say, it will NEVER break us.

To me, you learn so much more about your husband/wife when you are separated from them for so long, because you honestly do actually talk -and listen- more than you do on the daily basis when at home, because that is all you have. You learn how strong you are as a person, how strong they are, and you find out that your marriage is a hell of a lot stronger than you ever thought possible -and that gives you a since of pride :)

If Zak were to ever get out of the military, I know that there isnt anything that could come between us or alter the greatness of our family.

So as I have said before, I will say it again....come on deployment, bring on the next 9 months! :p


until the end of all time <3