Zak,
I know you have already read this in an email and I know some of you reading this now have read part of it on his wall...sorry, I cant help sharing with the world the love I have for my husband, but...
...in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to thank you....
For simply being you, because everything you are, has made me into a better person. You saved me...from everything bad in my world, you came along and saved me from it all and made me stronger and braver and showed me what it was like to really truly let my guard down and love with all that I am and be loved in return for everything I am..never having to change a single thing about myself..silly, emotional, neurotic...you complement everything I am. I am so thankful for the love that we share, it is so rare and I know that there is no duplicate to the love we have. You have given me everything and more out of life that I could ask for, the most recent addition being our amazingly adorable son. I know you may not see it or think it of yourself for being far away, but you are an amazing father, and I am so thankful to God for blessing with me such a wonderful man to be the father of my son. You are so strong. You are over fighting a fight that is not your own, in a terrible place, and still have a heart of gold and passion in your voice when we speak to you. You amaze me and I couldnt be more thankful.
I keep playing the cheesy Ryan Cabrera song in my head,
"on the way down, i saw you and you saved me from myself, and i wont forget the way you love me, on the way down i almost fell right through, but i held on to you"
...makes me think of you so much because I was falling through the cracks, I was so down and you saved me from myself, from everything and no matter what was thrown our way, or what bumpy roads we came across, I always held onto you, no matter what, because I knew it was you who would change my life forever...and you did, in the most positive way possible.
Thank you, for all that you are, and loving me, for all that I am.
until the end of all time
24 November 2010
21 November 2010
Cookies for Alpha Troop..& a little holiday sadness to throw in the mix. My apologies. (Day 115)
74.5 dozen cookies, equaling 944 pieces and hours of baking and packaging later and we have at LEAST a dozen cookies for each soldier of Alpha Troop (my husbands Troop).
Fhew.
My Mom and a few of her friends had the fantastic idea to bake all kinds of cookies and send them over to the guys of my Zak's Troop for a little holiday treat. There were 10 of us ladies, all baked a different kind of cookie or holiday treat....the kitchen still smells like sugar, peanut butter and fresh treats :)
We will be sending these treats out tomorrow!
As many of you have learned, I am care package obsessed. It has been almost 4 months, and I have already sent out 30 care packages ---not including however many packages these holiday treats will equal. So when my Mom told me of this idea, I was on board right away! I am so excited for the guys to get these treats, I just hope they all make it there safely and still fresh *fingers crossed*.
As I am writing this, I am telling two of the other wives from our Troop that I am TRYING to make my blogs not so sad and that I will do my best on this one.....but, sorry ladies....we are about to get sad.
Even though the evening was fun filled with all the ladies, wine, mimosas and all the tasty treats you could think of....I got sad out of no where.
I went out to the back patio of my parents house and was holding Grayson rocking on the rocking bench out there. Just me and him, nice and quite and peaceful, looking inside at all of these wonderful ladies putting time into something special for men they have never met (with the exception of Zak), all sitting around, coming together, laughing and having a great time with the Christmas music playing, and the tears just started streaming down my face. Not a big cry face, just the silent tears....yeah I know, those are the worst right....but I couldnt help it. It was such a fun gathering, but I kept thinking in my head, "this is so wonderful, so sweet.....but this wouldnt be going on if he wasnt away...but he is away....and this is one of the few things we can do to show we are thinking of them and caring about each of them...."
And then my brain went into a different place...
It hit me...the holidays without my husband.....
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years (all of Grayson's first) and my birthday, all in the next 2 months...without him and ....I lost it.
Ugh.
There is this quote,
If I complain for the next month or so...just bare with me okay, the holidays are going to make me a bit more sad than usual because...well, its the holidays, and instead of my husband being home with his little boy, he has to be over in the most terrible place you can be in right now...and that breaks my heart :(
Fhew.
My Mom and a few of her friends had the fantastic idea to bake all kinds of cookies and send them over to the guys of my Zak's Troop for a little holiday treat. There were 10 of us ladies, all baked a different kind of cookie or holiday treat....the kitchen still smells like sugar, peanut butter and fresh treats :)
We will be sending these treats out tomorrow!
As many of you have learned, I am care package obsessed. It has been almost 4 months, and I have already sent out 30 care packages ---not including however many packages these holiday treats will equal. So when my Mom told me of this idea, I was on board right away! I am so excited for the guys to get these treats, I just hope they all make it there safely and still fresh *fingers crossed*.
As I am writing this, I am telling two of the other wives from our Troop that I am TRYING to make my blogs not so sad and that I will do my best on this one.....but, sorry ladies....we are about to get sad.
Even though the evening was fun filled with all the ladies, wine, mimosas and all the tasty treats you could think of....I got sad out of no where.
I went out to the back patio of my parents house and was holding Grayson rocking on the rocking bench out there. Just me and him, nice and quite and peaceful, looking inside at all of these wonderful ladies putting time into something special for men they have never met (with the exception of Zak), all sitting around, coming together, laughing and having a great time with the Christmas music playing, and the tears just started streaming down my face. Not a big cry face, just the silent tears....yeah I know, those are the worst right....but I couldnt help it. It was such a fun gathering, but I kept thinking in my head, "this is so wonderful, so sweet.....but this wouldnt be going on if he wasnt away...but he is away....and this is one of the few things we can do to show we are thinking of them and caring about each of them...."
And then my brain went into a different place...
It hit me...the holidays without my husband.....
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years (all of Grayson's first) and my birthday, all in the next 2 months...without him and ....I lost it.
Ugh.
There is this quote,
"all I want is to find him outside my window on Christmas morning, holding a sign that says, "Santa Forgot One"
...that is how I feel.
That is all I want for Christmas. I want my husband. Home. Please and Thank You.
I know there are only 4 more months to go until I get to see him again...and I know I know...I am the one who said a few blogs ago that I have made it 4 months so far, so the next 4 months will be cake.
My blogs, I'm allowed to change how I feel if I want to :p
In all serious, I still feel that way, still positive with that outlook, but sheesh I would like the next 4 months to come and go in the next 4 days...that would be nice huh.
If I complain for the next month or so...just bare with me okay, the holidays are going to make me a bit more sad than usual because...well, its the holidays, and instead of my husband being home with his little boy, he has to be over in the most terrible place you can be in right now...and that breaks my heart :(
I miss you baby, and next Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday and New Years are going to be twice as amazing. Hang in there with me! We love you!
until the end of all time <3
11 November 2010
Veteran's Day
I know that I have already posted this, but seeing how it is Veteran's Day, and I do not feel that I can gather up words deserving of expressing how I feel about those who fight for our country...I felt as though a repeat would not be awful...and there is also a new video at the bottom of a very good speech about those who put their lives on the line each and every day.
These are pieces of Ben Stein's book, "The Real Stars"
"In Today's America, Who Are The True Heroes?"
"If you ask the wealthy about the men in battle dress uniforms, they act embarrassed. The subject quickly changes."
"It's mortifying to be so goddamned selfish when other people are dying for you. It's like being caught naked with the maid in the laundry room: it's not supposed to be brought up...
But it has to be brought up. Three hundred million people are being protected by men and women they don't know."
"The men and women doing the huge deals on Wall Street, the men and women making millions in Hollywood, then men who cannot bear that their yacht is late being delievered, the men and women who cannot wait to read more about Lindsay Lohan, the teenagers who think they have it rough because they have to do math homework before they can play computer games, and the politicians in their neat suits --- every one of us --- is protected by the blood of the men and women in uniform...and we're ignoring their very existence."
"Part of this is the way it's always been, of course.
Some die that others may live."
"But what's new, and what's so insane, is that instead of a nation united behind these men and women in combat, solid like a rock behind their families, we pretend they don't exist.
We pretend that the wars aren't happening and that what's real is what's in People Magazine . This is just not right ."
"It's insulting to the men and women who offer up their lives for less than a Hollywood producer spends on tickets for parking in handicapped zones."
"To me, it is amazing, incredible, magnificent, and fantastic that men will sign up to die for people they don't know. It is breathtaking that women will spend years or a lifetime serving the country that pretends they don't exist.
...It is a screaming miracle."
"There should be a beacon of thanks shrieking into the sky every second, coming from our hearts and souls. I feel as if our whole nation should be pouring out hearts in gratitude every day and every night."
"....We cannot all be brave enough to do what they do. We cannot be young enough or strong enough. However, every one of us can pray and every one of us can be on our knees in gratitude."
"...God bless those sacred souls in their uniforms and in their hospital beds and in their graves --and the military wives, girlfriends, fiances, children, familes, the marrow in the backbone of America.
God bless those whose fear and courage lets us live in the lavishness and foolishness that is our daily lives."
-Ben Stein
The Real Stars
Preface pages ix-xii
"God bless this glorious American military, every wife, every child, every parent; and endless prayers for them to return home safe, mission accomplished. God bless them every moment of every day for keeping safe this America, inside of which we live as powerfully as we live in our skin. This has to be the central fact of our lives: gratitude for the men and women who make this great life possible, who wear the uniform and cover it with glory".
-Ben Stein
The Real Stars
Page 12
From The American Spectator 7/26/2006
This is a video of a speech reinactment (slightly revised :p) about former Marine, and Senator John Glen, also first American to orbit space. Now I know I am an Army Wife, and most of you reading this are Army spouses and family members, but put that aside for a moment because this has NOTHING to do with the Marines and EVERYTHING to do how thankful we should all be of those serving our country.
Enjoy :)
These are pieces of Ben Stein's book, "The Real Stars"
"In Today's America, Who Are The True Heroes?"
"If you ask the wealthy about the men in battle dress uniforms, they act embarrassed. The subject quickly changes."
"It's mortifying to be so goddamned selfish when other people are dying for you. It's like being caught naked with the maid in the laundry room: it's not supposed to be brought up...
But it has to be brought up. Three hundred million people are being protected by men and women they don't know."
"The men and women doing the huge deals on Wall Street, the men and women making millions in Hollywood, then men who cannot bear that their yacht is late being delievered, the men and women who cannot wait to read more about Lindsay Lohan, the teenagers who think they have it rough because they have to do math homework before they can play computer games, and the politicians in their neat suits --- every one of us --- is protected by the blood of the men and women in uniform...and we're ignoring their very existence."
"Part of this is the way it's always been, of course.
Some die that others may live."
"But what's new, and what's so insane, is that instead of a nation united behind these men and women in combat, solid like a rock behind their families, we pretend they don't exist.
We pretend that the wars aren't happening and that what's real is what's in People Magazine . This is just not right ."
"It's insulting to the men and women who offer up their lives for less than a Hollywood producer spends on tickets for parking in handicapped zones."
"To me, it is amazing, incredible, magnificent, and fantastic that men will sign up to die for people they don't know. It is breathtaking that women will spend years or a lifetime serving the country that pretends they don't exist.
...It is a screaming miracle."
"There should be a beacon of thanks shrieking into the sky every second, coming from our hearts and souls. I feel as if our whole nation should be pouring out hearts in gratitude every day and every night."
"....We cannot all be brave enough to do what they do. We cannot be young enough or strong enough. However, every one of us can pray and every one of us can be on our knees in gratitude."
"...God bless those sacred souls in their uniforms and in their hospital beds and in their graves --and the military wives, girlfriends, fiances, children, familes, the marrow in the backbone of America.
God bless those whose fear and courage lets us live in the lavishness and foolishness that is our daily lives."
-Ben Stein
The Real Stars
Preface pages ix-xii
"God bless this glorious American military, every wife, every child, every parent; and endless prayers for them to return home safe, mission accomplished. God bless them every moment of every day for keeping safe this America, inside of which we live as powerfully as we live in our skin. This has to be the central fact of our lives: gratitude for the men and women who make this great life possible, who wear the uniform and cover it with glory".
-Ben Stein
The Real Stars
Page 12
From The American Spectator 7/26/2006
This is a video of a speech reinactment (slightly revised :p) about former Marine, and Senator John Glen, also first American to orbit space. Now I know I am an Army Wife, and most of you reading this are Army spouses and family members, but put that aside for a moment because this has NOTHING to do with the Marines and EVERYTHING to do how thankful we should all be of those serving our country.
Enjoy :)
09 November 2010
Sick Buggy
Poor Grayson...sick little Buggy.
I picked Grayson up from "school" on Friday to find him with a bad cough and having lost his voice --completely :(
I figured I would get him seen at normal hours on Monday...I could not wait that long.
Late Saturday night he woke up multiple times coughing so badly he was choking and could not catch his breath so I finally woke up really early and took him to the ER where the doctor said he thought he had Croup and gave him a dose of a steroid and said we would notice a huge improvement within 12 hours.....
No improvement.
So I took him to his normal pediatrician today, where she said she absolutely did not think it was Croup but that he definitely seems to have an Upper Respritory Infection :(
Blah.
So she gave him antibiotics for 10 days, ear drops and eye drops (he had drainage coming from not only his nose, but his eyes and ears as well).
I hope he starts feeling better soon.
I have to say, he is the best sick little baby ever. He is not grumpy or mean. He is so happy and content -just sick.
I also have to say, it is very strange having him without a voice. This boy is the most vocal baby I have ever known...he always talks and giggles and screams with joy........nothing......he tries to hit the high pitches and nothing comes out, every now and then he will get a little whisper of a noise....and oh gosh dont even get me started on when he starts getting tired or really not feeling well and tries to cry....you cant hear that he is crying...it is so sad but also the cutest thing ever. Is that wrong? :p
Hopefully all this medicine will get him feeling better!
Here is a little video of him without his voice :)
to the monster star and back <3
I picked Grayson up from "school" on Friday to find him with a bad cough and having lost his voice --completely :(
I figured I would get him seen at normal hours on Monday...I could not wait that long.
Late Saturday night he woke up multiple times coughing so badly he was choking and could not catch his breath so I finally woke up really early and took him to the ER where the doctor said he thought he had Croup and gave him a dose of a steroid and said we would notice a huge improvement within 12 hours.....
No improvement.
So I took him to his normal pediatrician today, where she said she absolutely did not think it was Croup but that he definitely seems to have an Upper Respritory Infection :(
Blah.
So she gave him antibiotics for 10 days, ear drops and eye drops (he had drainage coming from not only his nose, but his eyes and ears as well).
I hope he starts feeling better soon.
I have to say, he is the best sick little baby ever. He is not grumpy or mean. He is so happy and content -just sick.
I also have to say, it is very strange having him without a voice. This boy is the most vocal baby I have ever known...he always talks and giggles and screams with joy........nothing......he tries to hit the high pitches and nothing comes out, every now and then he will get a little whisper of a noise....and oh gosh dont even get me started on when he starts getting tired or really not feeling well and tries to cry....you cant hear that he is crying...it is so sad but also the cutest thing ever. Is that wrong? :p
Hopefully all this medicine will get him feeling better!
Here is a little video of him without his voice :)
to the monster star and back <3
01 November 2010
Grayson Goes to School (Day 95)
Today is November 1st...the start of a whole new month, annnnnd it is also Grayson's First Day of "School".
Grayson is attending a Montesorri Preschool/Day Care Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's now.
I thought this would be good for a few reasons. I can dive back into my studies and go back to work on the days he is at "school" and it will also help him in his developmental skills to be around other babies, younger and older than him.
I was always so worried about ever sending Grayson to a Daycare because of all the horror stories I have heard. But this is not just a daycare, as I said it is a Montesorri School that is very well accredited and awarded. It is also very safe, they have to give you an electronic key that allows you to enter the building and only people on a specific list that you give the teachers can pick up your child and all of the teachers are wonderful and I have full trust in them.
Grayson didnt even cry when I brought him there. They said on the first day they ask you to stick around for a bit to see how your child is doing and help him get comfortable. But I brought Grayson in, sat him on the little play area and he just sat there and played with some toys and starred at the other little ones around him. Didnt cry at all....so I left before he had the chance lol because if I was there and he was crying I probably wouldnt have been able to leave.
Got one phone call during the day that said he was crying a lot so I stopped in to check on him and he was completely happy at that time....he apparently favors one teacher more than the other. And the teacher he likes more went to lunch so he had a melt down because he didnt want the other one to hold him or feed him ---so when his favorite got back he was perfectly happy.
He is such a little stinker :p
When I went to pick him up at the end of the day, they said he did very well for his first day and that he is such a great baby so I am very excited to continue with this :) When we move back to NC I will probably continue him in Montesorri Preschool because I really like their program, even for young babies :)
I will keep updating about how his "school" is going!
until the end of all time <3
Grayson is attending a Montesorri Preschool/Day Care Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's now.
I thought this would be good for a few reasons. I can dive back into my studies and go back to work on the days he is at "school" and it will also help him in his developmental skills to be around other babies, younger and older than him.
I was always so worried about ever sending Grayson to a Daycare because of all the horror stories I have heard. But this is not just a daycare, as I said it is a Montesorri School that is very well accredited and awarded. It is also very safe, they have to give you an electronic key that allows you to enter the building and only people on a specific list that you give the teachers can pick up your child and all of the teachers are wonderful and I have full trust in them.
Grayson didnt even cry when I brought him there. They said on the first day they ask you to stick around for a bit to see how your child is doing and help him get comfortable. But I brought Grayson in, sat him on the little play area and he just sat there and played with some toys and starred at the other little ones around him. Didnt cry at all....so I left before he had the chance lol because if I was there and he was crying I probably wouldnt have been able to leave.
Got one phone call during the day that said he was crying a lot so I stopped in to check on him and he was completely happy at that time....he apparently favors one teacher more than the other. And the teacher he likes more went to lunch so he had a melt down because he didnt want the other one to hold him or feed him ---so when his favorite got back he was perfectly happy.
He is such a little stinker :p
When I went to pick him up at the end of the day, they said he did very well for his first day and that he is such a great baby so I am very excited to continue with this :) When we move back to NC I will probably continue him in Montesorri Preschool because I really like their program, even for young babies :)
I will keep updating about how his "school" is going!
until the end of all time <3
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