Quick little EXCITING note:
GRAYSON KICKED A BALL!!!!
This is SO HUGE! So excited and proud!!
BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER!
25 December 2013
Grayson KICKED A BALL!!!
Quick little EXCITING note:
GRAYSON KICKED A BALL!!!!
This is SO HUGE! So excited and proud!!
BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER!
18 November 2013
Oh how the "What If's" linger...
Yesterday was a bit of a rough day for us here in our Curious little household.
Grayson seemed very touchy in the sense of becoming overloaded quickly and easily. There were several moments of overload to meltdown... you could see it happening... too much going on at one time around him and he just melted down... he would also have moments of tantrums that turned into meltdowns... if he was trying to do something or get something or wanted something and for whatever reason couldn't make it work when or how he wanted it to he would start with a tantrum but then it would quickly go from what most view as a tantrum to a clear meltdown...
I am not sure what set it all off...I have read several other bloggers or parents of SN kiddos or kiddos with ASD talk about changes in behavior or a rise in meltdowns during a full moon...and sure enough... it was a full moon. Once I read about this not too long ago I have tried to pay attention to that pattern and I have actually noticed around the time of the full moon, he does in fact have major meltdowns or an increase in moments of becoming overwhelmed and overloaded.
Not sure if that is in fact what was going on or if he just had an off day, wasn't feeling well.... who knows... all I know is... it was hard and heart breaking.
I tried my best to maintain my composure because me breaking down does not help the situation as I know he is very sensitive to peoples emotions but as the day went on... breaking down just became inevitable ..... I'm only human.... Not superhuman as many try to give me credit for....
Even I have my moments and it's not because he is too much to handle... it's because it is truly heartbreaking... my chest physically hurts in those moments because I just do not know how to help him and I would give anything... anything... to spend 5 minutes inside of his brain and his body to have a better understanding of what his world is really like ...especially what overwhelms him and sets him into a spiral of a meltdown so I can better understand how to help him....
It's hard.... it's so hard.... and it hurts so deeply to not be able to understand what your child needs or what is upsetting/hurting him... you are helpless... and feeling helpless, is one of the worst feelings a parent can have ... it's not fair.
We tried the things that have worked in the past that his OT and his Play Therapist in NC taught me... such as The Wilbarger Protocol.
Which would help but varied in it's "long term" effectiveness...by that I mean... in one instance it would help and he would be okay and happy again for quite some time.... in another instance it would help but only momentarily and within a few minutes he would meltdown again...and in other instances he was just too far into the meltdown or too overwhelmed for it to help at all and almost made him more upset...
We also tried other things that help for him sometimes but then we also had to just let him be and hope he could work through it as I sat there to keep an eye on himself so he didn't hurt himself....
Anyway....
It was a hard day... a day full of going from happy to becoming overwhelmed very quickly, melting down and shutting down..... We ended the day/night nicely though...He snuggled up on the couch with me which helped my heart to feel better for that time being, we snuggled for awhile and then we got him to sleep and he slept through the night without waking up upset or anything...
These days happen very few and far between for us thankfully...
.....He woke up much better today, he had a great morning here at the house and I took him to school and he seemed a-okay...back to his usual self... but Mommy is still not so okay...
Usually the day following days like that are harder than the meltdown day itself for me.... How the heck is that possible? You are probably asking. Well because days like yesterday are a nice slap in the face of a reality reminder if that makes any sense... and then my brain starts going & wheels start turning and I start to think about everything... and I mean everything...and all the "What If's" of his present and future to come....
Now don't get me wrong...I know the reality of Grayson's double diagnosis... I know he may never make the amount of progress as we all hope for or ever catch up to his typically developing peers ....I know that he may very well be under our care for the rest of his life... I know these things on a daily basis ... but it's also easy to set that reality aside most days because he is still SO little and SO young and all the "What If's" of future are not here yet and I try to tell myself daily that anything could change between now (3.5 years old) and 10 years old, 18 years old, 25...30....etc.... so I am able to set reality aside because...we aren't there yet..... but I DO think about the "what if's" and the future..how can I not? But days like yesterday flow into the next day and set in motion all the "what if's" and worries and I become very overwhelmed with emotion because there are no answers..... there is no manual..... there is no certainty ......
Only questions...
Looking down the not so positive path....
How will these meltdowns go when he gets bigger and bigger and stronger and stronger? When he is taller than me and stronger than me... will I be able to help him? As he gets older, will his peers accept him or will he become victim of bullying? What if something terrible happened to me....to me and Zak... We have plans of who would take guardianship... but what if something happened to us further down the road, when he is older, and those set up for guardianship are no longer capable of taking care of a young adult/adult with SN/ASD...what then? What happens when I am in old age and need the help of a caregiver for myself....will they take care of Grayson as well? What if we live long and healthy and die of old age and Grayson is in his 40s and everyone we would trust with him is unable to care for him or passed away themselves....Where would he go? Who would take care of him? Would whomever takes care of him be able to take care of him the way I do? Have the patience that I have? Will he have to go into an adult group home? What if something did happen to us young but whomever he is entrusted too just cannot handle it...Will they send him to a home? How will he be treated there? You hear stories on how great places like that can be for some... and others you hear nightmares.... Will he live the nightmare if he has to go to a home?
I want there to be a potion that I could take ...to where nothing would happen to me so I could live to be a strong and youthful 120 year old just to be able to care for him, be his best friend, his mom, his rock for as long as necessary...
Morbid I know..... but it's reality. It's a reality that most parents shouldn't have to think of... most don't have to think of because they know their children will go to college, marry and have a family of their own and will not need their actual physical care of the rest of their lives... but for those of us in "the club" .... we HAVE to think like that....we have to ask those questions... we have to prepare....
It makes me sick...physically sick... to think all of those thoughts... I am in tears... feeling nauseous and having to take breaks as I type because this is the reality we face ....
Every moment of every day I am his biggest advocate and his biggest fan...I am always learning possible ways to help him in his times of stress and help in ways of his own education and progress developmentally and cognitively .... however.... days like yesterday... and the aftermaths of today are what push me to strive harder not just for Grayson... but for every SN child and family out there who understands the blog post more than they would like to.
There is always hope that things progress and all of these worries become unwarranted and he grows up being capable of living an independent life.... yes there is that hope... and I hold onto that hope so I don't have to live in the constant fear of the "what if's" that follow me around and haunt me so.
Grayson seemed very touchy in the sense of becoming overloaded quickly and easily. There were several moments of overload to meltdown... you could see it happening... too much going on at one time around him and he just melted down... he would also have moments of tantrums that turned into meltdowns... if he was trying to do something or get something or wanted something and for whatever reason couldn't make it work when or how he wanted it to he would start with a tantrum but then it would quickly go from what most view as a tantrum to a clear meltdown...
I am not sure what set it all off...I have read several other bloggers or parents of SN kiddos or kiddos with ASD talk about changes in behavior or a rise in meltdowns during a full moon...and sure enough... it was a full moon. Once I read about this not too long ago I have tried to pay attention to that pattern and I have actually noticed around the time of the full moon, he does in fact have major meltdowns or an increase in moments of becoming overwhelmed and overloaded.
Not sure if that is in fact what was going on or if he just had an off day, wasn't feeling well.... who knows... all I know is... it was hard and heart breaking.
I tried my best to maintain my composure because me breaking down does not help the situation as I know he is very sensitive to peoples emotions but as the day went on... breaking down just became inevitable ..... I'm only human.... Not superhuman as many try to give me credit for....
Even I have my moments and it's not because he is too much to handle... it's because it is truly heartbreaking... my chest physically hurts in those moments because I just do not know how to help him and I would give anything... anything... to spend 5 minutes inside of his brain and his body to have a better understanding of what his world is really like ...especially what overwhelms him and sets him into a spiral of a meltdown so I can better understand how to help him....
It's hard.... it's so hard.... and it hurts so deeply to not be able to understand what your child needs or what is upsetting/hurting him... you are helpless... and feeling helpless, is one of the worst feelings a parent can have ... it's not fair.
We tried the things that have worked in the past that his OT and his Play Therapist in NC taught me... such as The Wilbarger Protocol.
Which would help but varied in it's "long term" effectiveness...by that I mean... in one instance it would help and he would be okay and happy again for quite some time.... in another instance it would help but only momentarily and within a few minutes he would meltdown again...and in other instances he was just too far into the meltdown or too overwhelmed for it to help at all and almost made him more upset...
We also tried other things that help for him sometimes but then we also had to just let him be and hope he could work through it as I sat there to keep an eye on himself so he didn't hurt himself....
Anyway....
It was a hard day... a day full of going from happy to becoming overwhelmed very quickly, melting down and shutting down..... We ended the day/night nicely though...He snuggled up on the couch with me which helped my heart to feel better for that time being, we snuggled for awhile and then we got him to sleep and he slept through the night without waking up upset or anything...
These days happen very few and far between for us thankfully...
.....He woke up much better today, he had a great morning here at the house and I took him to school and he seemed a-okay...back to his usual self... but Mommy is still not so okay...
Usually the day following days like that are harder than the meltdown day itself for me.... How the heck is that possible? You are probably asking. Well because days like yesterday are a nice slap in the face of a reality reminder if that makes any sense... and then my brain starts going & wheels start turning and I start to think about everything... and I mean everything...and all the "What If's" of his present and future to come....
Now don't get me wrong...I know the reality of Grayson's double diagnosis... I know he may never make the amount of progress as we all hope for or ever catch up to his typically developing peers ....I know that he may very well be under our care for the rest of his life... I know these things on a daily basis ... but it's also easy to set that reality aside most days because he is still SO little and SO young and all the "What If's" of future are not here yet and I try to tell myself daily that anything could change between now (3.5 years old) and 10 years old, 18 years old, 25...30....etc.... so I am able to set reality aside because...we aren't there yet..... but I DO think about the "what if's" and the future..how can I not? But days like yesterday flow into the next day and set in motion all the "what if's" and worries and I become very overwhelmed with emotion because there are no answers..... there is no manual..... there is no certainty ......
Only questions...
Looking down the not so positive path....
How will these meltdowns go when he gets bigger and bigger and stronger and stronger? When he is taller than me and stronger than me... will I be able to help him? As he gets older, will his peers accept him or will he become victim of bullying? What if something terrible happened to me....to me and Zak... We have plans of who would take guardianship... but what if something happened to us further down the road, when he is older, and those set up for guardianship are no longer capable of taking care of a young adult/adult with SN/ASD...what then? What happens when I am in old age and need the help of a caregiver for myself....will they take care of Grayson as well? What if we live long and healthy and die of old age and Grayson is in his 40s and everyone we would trust with him is unable to care for him or passed away themselves....Where would he go? Who would take care of him? Would whomever takes care of him be able to take care of him the way I do? Have the patience that I have? Will he have to go into an adult group home? What if something did happen to us young but whomever he is entrusted too just cannot handle it...Will they send him to a home? How will he be treated there? You hear stories on how great places like that can be for some... and others you hear nightmares.... Will he live the nightmare if he has to go to a home?
I want there to be a potion that I could take ...to where nothing would happen to me so I could live to be a strong and youthful 120 year old just to be able to care for him, be his best friend, his mom, his rock for as long as necessary...
Morbid I know..... but it's reality. It's a reality that most parents shouldn't have to think of... most don't have to think of because they know their children will go to college, marry and have a family of their own and will not need their actual physical care of the rest of their lives... but for those of us in "the club" .... we HAVE to think like that....we have to ask those questions... we have to prepare....
It makes me sick...physically sick... to think all of those thoughts... I am in tears... feeling nauseous and having to take breaks as I type because this is the reality we face ....
Every moment of every day I am his biggest advocate and his biggest fan...I am always learning possible ways to help him in his times of stress and help in ways of his own education and progress developmentally and cognitively .... however.... days like yesterday... and the aftermaths of today are what push me to strive harder not just for Grayson... but for every SN child and family out there who understands the blog post more than they would like to.
There is always hope that things progress and all of these worries become unwarranted and he grows up being capable of living an independent life.... yes there is that hope... and I hold onto that hope so I don't have to live in the constant fear of the "what if's" that follow me around and haunt me so.
14 November 2013
Foodie Update
Hey All,
I just wanted to give a quick update because it is pretty exciting for us.... Grayson has been trying a whole bunch of new foods lately!
He usually just wants fish sticks.... however he will eat lots of different snack foods... He will also eat eggs for breakfast and waffles... but for his meals like lunch and dinner... fish sticks has been it really for quite some time... (even for breakfast many days as well)
Noooooooow we have a new list....
Along with his oh so favorite fish sticks he also has eaten for us:
Tortellini
Cheese Pizza
Mac n Cheese
Ravioli
Grilled Cheese
Cheese Quesadilla
Chicken Nuggets
and different flavors of veggie purees! (he likes the ones with peas/pears in the mix best).
He also ate a Candy Cane the other day as well!
We have been implementing "First This - Then This"/"This for That" techniques that his teachers as school use and it has been working out well!
We use a preferred food for the "That" so he First has to take a bite of the new food and then he can have a bite of his preferred food..... this has been working out great for us and am very excited that he have more things that we can make for him!
Go Grayson!
I just wanted to give a quick update because it is pretty exciting for us.... Grayson has been trying a whole bunch of new foods lately!
He usually just wants fish sticks.... however he will eat lots of different snack foods... He will also eat eggs for breakfast and waffles... but for his meals like lunch and dinner... fish sticks has been it really for quite some time... (even for breakfast many days as well)
Noooooooow we have a new list....
Along with his oh so favorite fish sticks he also has eaten for us:
Tortellini
Cheese Pizza
Mac n Cheese
Ravioli
Grilled Cheese
Cheese Quesadilla
Chicken Nuggets
and different flavors of veggie purees! (he likes the ones with peas/pears in the mix best).
He also ate a Candy Cane the other day as well!
We have been implementing "First This - Then This"/"This for That" techniques that his teachers as school use and it has been working out well!
We use a preferred food for the "That" so he First has to take a bite of the new food and then he can have a bite of his preferred food..... this has been working out great for us and am very excited that he have more things that we can make for him!
Go Grayson!
10 November 2013
Eating with a Spoon!
My oh my we are on a roll with the progress stride these past couple of days!
Here is a video of Grayson using a spoon to eat! Eeeek!
This is such a BIG deal! He still has a ways to go but I cannot tell you how excited and proud I am!
Here is a video of Grayson using a spoon to eat! Eeeek!
This is such a BIG deal! He still has a ways to go but I cannot tell you how excited and proud I am!
09 November 2013
Bursha Brusha Brusha :)
Quick video of Grayson brushing his teeth.
He has always loved the toothbrush... helps ease his need for oral stimulation so getting him to brush his teeth has always been pretty easy... but now he gets out his tooth brush and grabs my hand and places it at the sink to turn on the water and once the water is on he stands on his tip-top-toes and reaches the tooth brush under the water and then goes about brushing his teeth :)
So smart :)
Proud Momma.
He has always loved the toothbrush... helps ease his need for oral stimulation so getting him to brush his teeth has always been pretty easy... but now he gets out his tooth brush and grabs my hand and places it at the sink to turn on the water and once the water is on he stands on his tip-top-toes and reaches the tooth brush under the water and then goes about brushing his teeth :)
So smart :)
Proud Momma.
28 September 2013
Team Grayson!
Today I finally finished the capes I have been working on for the Walk Now for Autism Speaks Greater Boston 2013.
Usually each team makes shirts...but since we are big into superheros lately I decided what better way to show our spirit than with our very own capes!
Holy smokes was this a lot of work though. Up every night until 2-3am as each cape took 2-3 hours to make!
I am glad I did it though and am excited to sport them with our team in just a few days!
27 September 2013
Rough Day Today
Today has not been the best day for myself and Grayson...
It's heartbreaking when you can't simply communicate to your child and he cannot communicate clearly with you about what is upsetting him and I know he is sensing my own stress from the day which isn't helping...
Heading home to try to just relax with my little man and play outside with him to try to get things back on a positive track so neither of us are so overwhelmed
.Breathe.
It's heartbreaking when you can't simply communicate to your child and he cannot communicate clearly with you about what is upsetting him and I know he is sensing my own stress from the day which isn't helping...
Heading home to try to just relax with my little man and play outside with him to try to get things back on a positive track so neither of us are so overwhelmed
.Breathe.
24 September 2013
Fetch!
Just a quick little video post showing Grayson playing "fetch" with Karat.
He is getting better and better at throwing balls/toys and I am so thankful for Karat being patient and gentle with him.... Karat has extreme prey drive (as do most all Mal's) but he someone contains it to a degree for Grayson and waits patiently for Grayson to throw it...even if it is only a couple feet.
:)
He is getting better and better at throwing balls/toys and I am so thankful for Karat being patient and gentle with him.... Karat has extreme prey drive (as do most all Mal's) but he someone contains it to a degree for Grayson and waits patiently for Grayson to throw it...even if it is only a couple feet.
:)
21 September 2013
YAY for Wagons!
Grayson's newest "toy" that has quickly become his favorite toy is his new wagon! He loves being pulled all around in it and wants to go out FIRST THING in the morning....PJ's still on and everything...and of course, tennis shoes over the pjs :)
Love this little kid!
18 September 2013
SuperHero Kids!
I took this photo of Grayson playing out in the yard with his new "The Flash" pjs on and I thought to myself, "this would be perfect with some kind of superhero quote" and I found one that I thought fit!
"I think you just have to appreciate who you are & hopefully they will see what a superhero is about."
That.is.perfect.
I think everyone has a little bit of superhero in them but for the special needs kiddos out there, I think they ARE what superheros are made of!
We just need to be so positive to our kiddos, show them love and acceptance and teach them/reassure them how truly amazing they are despite there "differences" from other children and they will catch on and learn to appreciate themselves for exactly who they are and sure enough the people around them will how truly amazing they are...how truly superhero-like they are.
Special Needs kids.... with physical disabilities, developmental delays, cognaitve disablities...ALL special needs kiddos are truly an inspriation to us all and really do embody what I think of a superhero.
I decided to look up "SuperHero" and find a definition that I saw cute and fitting for our SN kiddos.
UrbandDictionary.com defines SuperHero as:
1. A being with extraordinary physical or mental powers, far beyond the range of normal human ability, who uses these powers to protect the innocent and for the general good.
2. One who is granted such powers by some external means, such as advanced technology or magic, and uses them with similar intent.
3. Batman.
2. One who is granted such powers by some external means, such as advanced technology or magic, and uses them with similar intent.
3. Batman.
#1 and #2 are pretty accurate in my opinion though and if you are a parent of a SN child, or a family member, or dear friend.... you will understand the meaning more than others :)
17 September 2013
Surgery Day (9.17.2013)
Today was surgery day for Grayson. He was having a procedure to open up his tear ducts more by instead of just simply using a probe, they used a probe with a balloon like tool on the end of it that they "blew up" to create a wider opening.
We were up bright and early at 4am and out the door by 4:45am. I just kept him in his pjs and made sure to have his iPad, blanket and of course his new cape :)
All went well when we arrived and once they brought us back to get him dressed into his gown they brought us out and awesome push car that we could roam the halls with until his surgical team was ready to talk with us.
Zak is out of town so he was unable to be there with us today, however, my father flew in last night to work out of Boston for a week so he stayed with us the whole time which was very nice to have him there.
Everyone on the surgical floor loooooved Grayson's cape, some people knew it was a TinySuperheros cape and others did not, but I made sure to make them aware of their awesomeness!
Some people played along with Grayson and if they were walking ahead of him they would start running with their arms spread out so we could "chase" them and he loved that...others would walk up to us and ask, "Is that a Super Hero?!" and I would say, "Yes it is! It's Super Grayson!" and they would say, "I have never met a Super Hero before!". It meant a lot to me that everyone was so nice and played along with it so well :)
I am so happy that cape got here yesterday -perfect timing- and I don't know about Grayson, but him wearing the cape sure did make me feel better!
When it was time to talk with his surgical team, everyone was very great and allowed me to go into the OR with Grayson to help get him "asleep". I suited up and we brought his iPad in as well. They had me sit with him on my lap while one person held the iPad out in front of him and another held the mask to his mouth and another held his heady steady and it wasn't long until he was out.
I gave him a kiss on the forehead, told him I loved him very much and walked out of the room and proceeded to the waiting room. About 20 minutes later his surgeon came out to tell us that the surgery went great, however, his tear ducts were a little more open that she expected but she made them even wider in hopes that this will once and for all solve the problem of all the eye infections he has had since he was born...but if in a month or two it is back to its old ways, we will have to start looking at other reasons again and possibly have an even more invasive surgery :-\ So lets all pray this surgery works!
Following his surgeon, the recovery team came to get us to bring us back to him, they said he woke up very upset and gave him an additional sedative to help him calm back down while the anesthesia works itself out of his system.
Very quickly he started to wake up again, and was still very unhappy. He had blood in his tears, and his nose and his mouth (which is all normal but really hard to see as a parent). Him waking up very upset is actually very common for young children and then they said add in being non-verbal and autistic it can make it that much harder for them and even be a little violent. He was a pretty tough first 15-20minutes and once he started opening his eyes more and realizing that I was there and I was the one trying to hold him, he started to calm down and then we gave him his iPad and that helped out a lot. My Dad and I took turns holding him and got some fluids in him. Once they saw he was calm for awhile they started the discharge process and let us go on our way.
It was so hard to see him like that after recovery :( No one ever wants to see someone they love, especially their child, in that state of being so confused and upset and uncomfortable and no there is not a whole lot you can do to help except keep trying to comfort them the best way you know how and reassure them that everything is okay.
I have an amazing cousin whose daughter is only 2.5 years old and just had her 8th surgery and I don't know how she does it. They are both such a strong and brave Mommy/Daughter team and I look up to them so much.
On the ride home he fell asleep, but woke up again once I took him out of the car. We are just hanging out now and he has shown me he is hungry so I am slowly getting food and more fluids back in him and then probably take a nap in a bit because he has had a long tough morning so far.
Thank you everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers and lets keep praying this surgery works so he does not have to go through it again!
We were up bright and early at 4am and out the door by 4:45am. I just kept him in his pjs and made sure to have his iPad, blanket and of course his new cape :)
All went well when we arrived and once they brought us back to get him dressed into his gown they brought us out and awesome push car that we could roam the halls with until his surgical team was ready to talk with us.
Zak is out of town so he was unable to be there with us today, however, my father flew in last night to work out of Boston for a week so he stayed with us the whole time which was very nice to have him there.
Everyone on the surgical floor loooooved Grayson's cape, some people knew it was a TinySuperheros cape and others did not, but I made sure to make them aware of their awesomeness!
Some people played along with Grayson and if they were walking ahead of him they would start running with their arms spread out so we could "chase" them and he loved that...others would walk up to us and ask, "Is that a Super Hero?!" and I would say, "Yes it is! It's Super Grayson!" and they would say, "I have never met a Super Hero before!". It meant a lot to me that everyone was so nice and played along with it so well :)
I am so happy that cape got here yesterday -perfect timing- and I don't know about Grayson, but him wearing the cape sure did make me feel better!
When it was time to talk with his surgical team, everyone was very great and allowed me to go into the OR with Grayson to help get him "asleep". I suited up and we brought his iPad in as well. They had me sit with him on my lap while one person held the iPad out in front of him and another held the mask to his mouth and another held his heady steady and it wasn't long until he was out.
I gave him a kiss on the forehead, told him I loved him very much and walked out of the room and proceeded to the waiting room. About 20 minutes later his surgeon came out to tell us that the surgery went great, however, his tear ducts were a little more open that she expected but she made them even wider in hopes that this will once and for all solve the problem of all the eye infections he has had since he was born...but if in a month or two it is back to its old ways, we will have to start looking at other reasons again and possibly have an even more invasive surgery :-\ So lets all pray this surgery works!
Following his surgeon, the recovery team came to get us to bring us back to him, they said he woke up very upset and gave him an additional sedative to help him calm back down while the anesthesia works itself out of his system.
Very quickly he started to wake up again, and was still very unhappy. He had blood in his tears, and his nose and his mouth (which is all normal but really hard to see as a parent). Him waking up very upset is actually very common for young children and then they said add in being non-verbal and autistic it can make it that much harder for them and even be a little violent. He was a pretty tough first 15-20minutes and once he started opening his eyes more and realizing that I was there and I was the one trying to hold him, he started to calm down and then we gave him his iPad and that helped out a lot. My Dad and I took turns holding him and got some fluids in him. Once they saw he was calm for awhile they started the discharge process and let us go on our way.
It was so hard to see him like that after recovery :( No one ever wants to see someone they love, especially their child, in that state of being so confused and upset and uncomfortable and no there is not a whole lot you can do to help except keep trying to comfort them the best way you know how and reassure them that everything is okay.
I have an amazing cousin whose daughter is only 2.5 years old and just had her 8th surgery and I don't know how she does it. They are both such a strong and brave Mommy/Daughter team and I look up to them so much.
On the ride home he fell asleep, but woke up again once I took him out of the car. We are just hanging out now and he has shown me he is hungry so I am slowly getting food and more fluids back in him and then probably take a nap in a bit because he has had a long tough morning so far.
Thank you everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers and lets keep praying this surgery works so he does not have to go through it again!
14 September 2013
Positively Positive...Got A Problem With That?
Today I was given a great compliment from a fellow follower of the FB Page and the blog you are currently reading.
She said:
"You have a wonderful spirit. I wish I could share your energy and positive attitude with families I know. I know there are sad, frustrating moments but I love reading your take on the ups and downs."
This really meant a lot as she is a professional in the Autism and Special Needs community.
However, sometimes I worry about my oh so positive attitude as I know some people do not take well to it and others think I am putting on a facade so they do not like following my page...or...my favorite, they think I don't have it "tough enough" because it seems like all I post are positive things.
I just want to address this a little bit because it is a little bothersome...
I am generally a positive person with tons and tons of energy, however, not everything is skittles and sunshine all of the time but I really believe life it what you make it, and everything situation is what you make it and a negative attitude and outlook never helped anyone...especially when shown in front of children.
I have some pretty decent anxiety issues and worry about things like you wouldn't believe so usually the "bad days" are my bad days where I just over think waaaaay too much.
I'll be honest, Grayson does not have very many "bad days" but I know that could change in an instant, so I cherish every good day...no, I cherish every good moment...is that so wrong? I don't think so.
But let's do talk about the "bad days" for a moment....
When Grayson does have bad days and bad moments, they are very much alike the rest of the fellow SN Parents I read about...he can get aggressive and have a "meltdown" where there isn't anything I can do to help but just sit down and watch him work through it because touching him doesn't help most of the time and then I take every fiber of my being and try my damnedest not to cry...Do you know what it feels like to have to do that? Most children throw "tantrums" over things that are not going their way, and the tantrums can be pretty serious don't get me wrong, but you can talk to a NT kid and explain to them why they are not getting their way and that they need to calm down, or that they will go to time-out...Granted, SN/Autistic children can throw a tantrum too over things like not being allowed to play with the iPad at that moment (using an example from Grayson).... but other times, they have what we call "meltdowns" where they just shut down and you really really do not know what...Imagine your child's temper tantrum....and then times it by a number unimaginable.... that's a meltdown....and there is really nothing you can do to help...at least in my experience so far, I have not figured out what helps Grayson.
For example a couple of weeks ago:
Grayson and I were just playing around, having fun and then he suddenly just sort of shut down and every little thing seemed to upset him. It was not that he wasn't getting his way because the iPad was no where in sight for him to be requesting it, I was not keeping him from going outside to play, I wasn't keeping anything from him so that was the first thing I tried...to give him things he may want that maybe I didn't catch onto...the iPad....threw it....Tried to take him to the door to go outside, he just pulled my hair and when I sat him down he just sat down, head down and crying then hit the doors....Tried to give him a drink...a snack...just threw them and cried more....I thought he may be more tired that I thought so I tried to lay him down...seemed to help for a moment but he was wanting to lay down a particular way with the pillows sorted in a specific way that I wasn't getting...which only upset him more...my chance to calm him most likely past due to the communication barrier we have.... so he began to throw anything and everything he could find and was just crying in a way I have yet to see and became a little aggressive with himself and if I tried to help by giving him a hug or picking him up or just trying to apply pressure to his shoulders or chest....then I got scratched and my hair pulled....I thought maybe turning the tv off and lights off would help calm him...maybe there was just "too much" going on around him.... maybe he was thrown off because school had just ended for the summer so his routine and schedule was very different....my brain was racing on what could be going on but all I knew is that I...I was not helping.....so I just sat down....I sat down and just watched my favorite little person on the planet just cry and flail over something I couldn't understand....this went on and on and on.....I wanted to cry so badly but I didn't want him to see so I pushed it down and pushing it down made me feel sick to my stomach because I was so helpless and didn't know what was making him so overwhelmed.
It seemed like forever that this lasted but I'm sure it wasn't THAT long but I decided to try to just give him his space and a place that was just his and quite so I took him to his room and put him in his crib and sure enough...he calmed right down and eventually went to sleep....
It's heartbreaking... it really is...to see your child go through that and feel so helpless to them.... That... was not a good day.... The rest of the day was very similar.....But we worked through it and picked ourselves up and moved forward and I tried to remain calm...and breathe....
Our children do not mean to hurt themselves, or us.. they do not want to have meltdowns... they do not want to get so overwhelmed or overstimulated that they can't just enjoy their day... it is not what they want to do...but how would you feel if you were them... take a moment to think about what we think is going on inside their minds and bodies.... and with the little bit that we can try to think we know... imagine how you would feel and ask yourself how it would make you act/react? We all get overwhelmed and overstimulated at times but we have the cognitive understanding and communication ability to know how to calm ourselves in a manner unlike they do...that is their only way of getting out that energy and frustration and we have to be understanding of that and just try to learn from it each and every time and what may have triggered it, what chain of events happened leading up to it...what helped, what didn't help...and try and try and try for our children to learn so the next bad day, we may be able to help just a little bit more..
So yes, for all of you wondering, we do have our bad days...I have not really shared them in the past because I was not that active on this blog but I have said it before and will say it again... I now share it all... the good days and the bad days and I apologize if there have not been any bad days to write about but for that, I am thankful.
I know Grayson's behavior could change and he could have more bad days than good days but right now he is a very happy kid with limited amounts of bad days so for the most part you, when it comes to the "bad days" you will probably see that they are about me and my thoughts and worries in that particular moment because I do share the same concerns and anxieties of everyone else in this community.
I will not apologize for being so positive though because Grayson makes me so positive and if I start my day off positive and positive with him then it will be harder to break my spirit no matter what the day brings.
I try to make each and every day as positive and enjoyable as I possibly can... If that means putting shoes on over pjs and going outside at 5:30 in the morning....do I have anything else to be doing? No...so we go play outside! Taking 4 baths a day because he enjoys the water? Sure! Scribbling on the lenolium floors or anything else that I know is washable? Why not, whats it hurting? Running up a small hill in our yard hand-in-hand with him then picking him up as I run down as fast as possible ending in a fun twirl...Absolutely because that is what he loves! Scanning and printing blank page after blank page because it for some reason makes him happy? Go for it! Listening to the same songs and shows over and over again? Of course because he has some connection to it that makes him happy! Taking 100+ photos on Photobooth on the Mac because he thinks it's the bees-knees? Heck yeah! Turning the tv on and off with the remote over and over again? Well sure, do I really need to be watching tv while hanging out with kiddo anyway?! Pushing the buttons on the washer dryer, home telephone, cell phone and any other form of buttons he can find? Why yes! Becaaause it makes him happy!
See an ongoing theme here?
I try to let him just be who he is and have fun with it! Does that mean he has no limits? Of course not...He is a smart kiddo and knows things he is not allowed to do and he has limits to everything just as every other child would and just like at school I have structured "play time" with him where we work on certain motor skills and verbalizing..but again...I try to make it fun and use tons and ton of positive reinforcement!
I just love letting Grayson, be Grayson, and if it's not hurting anyone or anything...then of course I'm all for it and going to have a positive attitude about it even if it is the 100th time that day we have done said activity..because it makes him happy...and I may feel helpless in several other areas of this journey but if there is one thing I know I can help with...that is his happiness!
I try to make each and every day as positive and enjoyable as I possibly can... If that means putting shoes on over pjs and going outside at 5:30 in the morning....do I have anything else to be doing? No...so we go play outside! Taking 4 baths a day because he enjoys the water? Sure! Scribbling on the lenolium floors or anything else that I know is washable? Why not, whats it hurting? Running up a small hill in our yard hand-in-hand with him then picking him up as I run down as fast as possible ending in a fun twirl...Absolutely because that is what he loves! Scanning and printing blank page after blank page because it for some reason makes him happy? Go for it! Listening to the same songs and shows over and over again? Of course because he has some connection to it that makes him happy! Taking 100+ photos on Photobooth on the Mac because he thinks it's the bees-knees? Heck yeah! Turning the tv on and off with the remote over and over again? Well sure, do I really need to be watching tv while hanging out with kiddo anyway?! Pushing the buttons on the washer dryer, home telephone, cell phone and any other form of buttons he can find? Why yes! Becaaause it makes him happy!
See an ongoing theme here?
I try to let him just be who he is and have fun with it! Does that mean he has no limits? Of course not...He is a smart kiddo and knows things he is not allowed to do and he has limits to everything just as every other child would and just like at school I have structured "play time" with him where we work on certain motor skills and verbalizing..but again...I try to make it fun and use tons and ton of positive reinforcement!
I just love letting Grayson, be Grayson, and if it's not hurting anyone or anything...then of course I'm all for it and going to have a positive attitude about it even if it is the 100th time that day we have done said activity..because it makes him happy...and I may feel helpless in several other areas of this journey but if there is one thing I know I can help with...that is his happiness!
Grayson is an amazing kid, as are ALL of your children. I truly just try to embrace EVERYTHING and ANYTHING...even the not so good things because it shows me a little more of Grayson's personality with every little thing...so I am thankful for it all... and I couldn't be more thankful for being chosen as his mother because he has shown me an entirely different outlook on life, love, and happiness and I admire him and look up to him because he has been faced with so many struggles that I cannot even imagine what it is like for him on the inside but he remains positive and happy and enjoys life organically...He is so brave and strong and funny and smart .... He has forever changed me in the best way possible and I am so thankful for him and the lessons he has taught me already. I wouldn't change a thing. Grayson is my role model and I owe it to him to be just as brave and strong and positive and happy and funny as he is.
And when it comes to the bad days ahead... bring it on!
12 September 2013
Worries of Wandering
I wanted to write a post about one of my many worries....wandering.
Aso, bear with me as I may talk in circles...it's just what I do.
I want to just get my thoughts out there and also bring awareness to others who many not be as familiar with this topic.
So, as well all know...children in general like to wander about. This is not a topic that only relates to parents of Special Needs/Autism but there is a much higher risk.
Children with Autism tend to wander for one of two reasons:
1. To get to something of interest.
or
2. To get away from something.
Usually it is the former.
Children with Autism seem to have a love of water and unfortunately most of the cases where a child's life is lost due to wandering is found having drowned.
This is a phenomena, one in which Grayson falls into.
He LOVES water.
Other unfortunate cases have been found on busy roads.
Some children simply remember something that caught their interest...such as a park, train station, or even a near by pool and they will decide to take off and try to find it.
Other reasons children with Autism may wander is as I said before, to get away from something. Many children on the spectrum, or Special Needs children as well, also have what we call SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). This can go one of two ways as well...some children get very overwhelmed, quite easily with certain sounds, sights and touch...and other children do not feel stimulated enough (Grayson is a combination of these). So if they wander away from home, it could be to get away from something that is overwhelming them.
Either way, it is scary.
Its a scary thought that haunts me every day.
This isn't some silly worry either, it's real and the numbers are growing every year with fatal wandering incidents of children with Autism and Special Needs...
I absolutely love our home and love our town...however, now that I have become more aware of this wandering phenomena, I realize that the location of our home beautiful but also a nightmare at the same time.
We sit up on a hill push back a bit, but not far enough from a busy road, and directly on the other side of that busy road is not other homes...its a giant pond...and sure enough what sits in our backyard down the hill? ...... Another pond.
This makes for an absolutely beautiful setting.... but it also could turn into the perfect storm.
Grayson is still on the shorter side and younger and not strong enough that I feel overwhelmingly worried about him wandering but.....no....lets face it... it does overwhelm me sometimes because I do have a crazy Mom brain and think of all the "What Ifs".
We just got an alarm system (not for the reason of wandering but it does help)...so that will help in knowing when windows and doors open and close at night and just throughout the day when he is home....and obviously makes me feel for safe in general since our neighbors are not at your typical neighbor distance.
Other than the help of the alarm system, I think of things that I can do to make sure over the next years that Grayson is growing up in this house and how his curiosity may grow...how to keep him safe.
For fire hazard....and for the sake of me nothing being called insane...I can't turn this house into Fort Knox...but there are things I was already going to do before I started worrying about this that now I see will also help a little with this fright.
1. As most of you already know I am a dog trainer. I have Karat, he is amazing and he has grown to really like Grayson, however, since he is trained to bite people he is not the dog I like to leave Grayson unaccompanied with and he is getting older so teaching him to alerts and a different way of training..is doable, yes, but worth it at his age... not really.
SO... I have been thinking for awhile of getting Grayson a companion dog....whether it be another Malionis, or a GSD or a Lab...I haven't decided yet. But I need whatever the dog from whichever breed I chose to have a very good temperament but also have enough drive it in to teach it a bark alert.
Originally when I wanted to get him a companion dog was kind of for the same reasons but not so much the wandering...more for companionship but also to give alerts if someone approached Grayson or god forbid picked him up and tried to take him ---because Grayson is nonverbal and also very friendly with strangers, he cannot scream for help not do I think he has the understanding to just yet as many children with SN and Autism have challenges with cognitive development and some with language development as well it can be very difficult to teach them certain dangers and how to react to those dangers.
Anyway, so now, I want a "companion" dog for Grayson for the same reasons but also to provide a bark alert for if Grayson starts wandering on his own...I plan to have the dog sleep in Grayson's room as well so if at night Grayson gets up (as we are getting him a big boy bed soon) and goes to the door, the dog will bark and I will know he is either at his bedroom door or god-forbid..his window...
...yes, window...I have read from several other parents that as their children get taller and stronger that catch them trying to climb out the windows and make a run for it.
This will also help have a lot of people over doors aren't being closed correctly or we are outside with a lot of people, I will have Grayson's "security guard" alert me if he is going towards any doors, or heading toward the part of the yard where the pond is, or heading to the driveway (which obviouslly leads to the street).
Why not just have another PPD (Personal Protection Dog) you may ask? ...Well because I want the dog to be friendly with everyone, and not have risk of biting anyone, including Grayson...so this way I can have a dog with enough drive to teach is a bark alert but also have a temperament that will be friendly with other people and dogs and be able to go everywhere with us.
#2. This reason actually started because of Karat....as stated, we have a pond in our backyard....Karat has never really been the "Water Dog" type so I didn't think anything of it, but one evening he saw a frog...the frog jumped in the water....and so did Karat...and nooooow Karat loves the water....I do not want to deprive Karat of playing in the water because it is fun to watch..however.. as pretty as it is to look at...its not the kind of water you want your dog to be swimming in.....Also, when it starts to get freezing cold out and freeze over, I really don't feel like worrying about Karat running on it and falling through the ice...just not something I need to worry about.
Anyway, it would be impossible to block off the entire pond but I am thinking of getting a little fencing to at least block off the park of it that is easily accessible to him.
This solves two possible issues at once....Karat wont get disgusting from playing in the pond and me have to give him a bath every 30 minutes, and it bring my "worry meter" down some when it comes to Grayson deciding he wants to play in it as well.
So I feel like I have my basics covered on what I can do to help prevent wandering from happening.
There are also websites like AWARE that discuss precautions in further detail. Such as letting your neighbors know you have a child with Special Needs and what he looks like so if they ever see him they know that calling his name isn't going to help and to please please just pick him up and call me right away! Same goes for your local Police Department...it is said that it is a good idea to let your local PD know that you have a child with Special Needs and what to do if they ever see him/her out and about and also with someone other than yourself because believe it or not, many Police Departments are not very aware of what to do when it comes to children with Special Needs and Autism.
Now I do want to clear something up...no I am not the crazy over protective Mom...I am just being real. I know the dangers and it is something I can TRY to prevent, so yeah...I'm going to try.
There are dangers around every corner that are out of my control...I know as soon as I get in a car with Grayson...we could be hit by another car...that is out of my control but that doesn't mean we don't go anywhere...we go everywhere. As horrific as the acts have been, I know him going to school itself could be a huge danger because of gunman, fires....etc... but do I keep him home? No. I LOVE his school. It is out of my control and I have to accept that.
But when it comes to things that are under my roof and around my home in my yard...that IS something I have control over. I can do my best to prevent him from not getting burned on the stove, not drowning the in bath tub, not falling down the stairs....and I can do my best to prevent him from wandering off.
So no, I am not crazy...I am a Mom...and I look at the reality of certain "what ifs".
Anyhoo... I just needed to write about this because it weighs on my mind all of the time because the numbers are increasing in wandering children of SN/Autism.
Please be aware...
Aso, bear with me as I may talk in circles...it's just what I do.
I want to just get my thoughts out there and also bring awareness to others who many not be as familiar with this topic.
So, as well all know...children in general like to wander about. This is not a topic that only relates to parents of Special Needs/Autism but there is a much higher risk.
Children with Autism tend to wander for one of two reasons:
1. To get to something of interest.
or
2. To get away from something.
Usually it is the former.
Children with Autism seem to have a love of water and unfortunately most of the cases where a child's life is lost due to wandering is found having drowned.
This is a phenomena, one in which Grayson falls into.
He LOVES water.
Other unfortunate cases have been found on busy roads.
Some children simply remember something that caught their interest...such as a park, train station, or even a near by pool and they will decide to take off and try to find it.
Other reasons children with Autism may wander is as I said before, to get away from something. Many children on the spectrum, or Special Needs children as well, also have what we call SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). This can go one of two ways as well...some children get very overwhelmed, quite easily with certain sounds, sights and touch...and other children do not feel stimulated enough (Grayson is a combination of these). So if they wander away from home, it could be to get away from something that is overwhelming them.
Either way, it is scary.
Its a scary thought that haunts me every day.
This isn't some silly worry either, it's real and the numbers are growing every year with fatal wandering incidents of children with Autism and Special Needs...
I absolutely love our home and love our town...however, now that I have become more aware of this wandering phenomena, I realize that the location of our home beautiful but also a nightmare at the same time.
We sit up on a hill push back a bit, but not far enough from a busy road, and directly on the other side of that busy road is not other homes...its a giant pond...and sure enough what sits in our backyard down the hill? ...... Another pond.
This makes for an absolutely beautiful setting.... but it also could turn into the perfect storm.
Grayson is still on the shorter side and younger and not strong enough that I feel overwhelmingly worried about him wandering but.....no....lets face it... it does overwhelm me sometimes because I do have a crazy Mom brain and think of all the "What Ifs".
We just got an alarm system (not for the reason of wandering but it does help)...so that will help in knowing when windows and doors open and close at night and just throughout the day when he is home....and obviously makes me feel for safe in general since our neighbors are not at your typical neighbor distance.
Other than the help of the alarm system, I think of things that I can do to make sure over the next years that Grayson is growing up in this house and how his curiosity may grow...how to keep him safe.
For fire hazard....and for the sake of me nothing being called insane...I can't turn this house into Fort Knox...but there are things I was already going to do before I started worrying about this that now I see will also help a little with this fright.
1. As most of you already know I am a dog trainer. I have Karat, he is amazing and he has grown to really like Grayson, however, since he is trained to bite people he is not the dog I like to leave Grayson unaccompanied with and he is getting older so teaching him to alerts and a different way of training..is doable, yes, but worth it at his age... not really.
SO... I have been thinking for awhile of getting Grayson a companion dog....whether it be another Malionis, or a GSD or a Lab...I haven't decided yet. But I need whatever the dog from whichever breed I chose to have a very good temperament but also have enough drive it in to teach it a bark alert.
Originally when I wanted to get him a companion dog was kind of for the same reasons but not so much the wandering...more for companionship but also to give alerts if someone approached Grayson or god forbid picked him up and tried to take him ---because Grayson is nonverbal and also very friendly with strangers, he cannot scream for help not do I think he has the understanding to just yet as many children with SN and Autism have challenges with cognitive development and some with language development as well it can be very difficult to teach them certain dangers and how to react to those dangers.
Anyway, so now, I want a "companion" dog for Grayson for the same reasons but also to provide a bark alert for if Grayson starts wandering on his own...I plan to have the dog sleep in Grayson's room as well so if at night Grayson gets up (as we are getting him a big boy bed soon) and goes to the door, the dog will bark and I will know he is either at his bedroom door or god-forbid..his window...
...yes, window...I have read from several other parents that as their children get taller and stronger that catch them trying to climb out the windows and make a run for it.
This will also help have a lot of people over doors aren't being closed correctly or we are outside with a lot of people, I will have Grayson's "security guard" alert me if he is going towards any doors, or heading toward the part of the yard where the pond is, or heading to the driveway (which obviouslly leads to the street).
Why not just have another PPD (Personal Protection Dog) you may ask? ...Well because I want the dog to be friendly with everyone, and not have risk of biting anyone, including Grayson...so this way I can have a dog with enough drive to teach is a bark alert but also have a temperament that will be friendly with other people and dogs and be able to go everywhere with us.
#2. This reason actually started because of Karat....as stated, we have a pond in our backyard....Karat has never really been the "Water Dog" type so I didn't think anything of it, but one evening he saw a frog...the frog jumped in the water....and so did Karat...and nooooow Karat loves the water....I do not want to deprive Karat of playing in the water because it is fun to watch..however.. as pretty as it is to look at...its not the kind of water you want your dog to be swimming in.....Also, when it starts to get freezing cold out and freeze over, I really don't feel like worrying about Karat running on it and falling through the ice...just not something I need to worry about.
Anyway, it would be impossible to block off the entire pond but I am thinking of getting a little fencing to at least block off the park of it that is easily accessible to him.
This solves two possible issues at once....Karat wont get disgusting from playing in the pond and me have to give him a bath every 30 minutes, and it bring my "worry meter" down some when it comes to Grayson deciding he wants to play in it as well.
So I feel like I have my basics covered on what I can do to help prevent wandering from happening.
There are also websites like AWARE that discuss precautions in further detail. Such as letting your neighbors know you have a child with Special Needs and what he looks like so if they ever see him they know that calling his name isn't going to help and to please please just pick him up and call me right away! Same goes for your local Police Department...it is said that it is a good idea to let your local PD know that you have a child with Special Needs and what to do if they ever see him/her out and about and also with someone other than yourself because believe it or not, many Police Departments are not very aware of what to do when it comes to children with Special Needs and Autism.
Now I do want to clear something up...no I am not the crazy over protective Mom...I am just being real. I know the dangers and it is something I can TRY to prevent, so yeah...I'm going to try.
There are dangers around every corner that are out of my control...I know as soon as I get in a car with Grayson...we could be hit by another car...that is out of my control but that doesn't mean we don't go anywhere...we go everywhere. As horrific as the acts have been, I know him going to school itself could be a huge danger because of gunman, fires....etc... but do I keep him home? No. I LOVE his school. It is out of my control and I have to accept that.
But when it comes to things that are under my roof and around my home in my yard...that IS something I have control over. I can do my best to prevent him from not getting burned on the stove, not drowning the in bath tub, not falling down the stairs....and I can do my best to prevent him from wandering off.
So no, I am not crazy...I am a Mom...and I look at the reality of certain "what ifs".
Anyhoo... I just needed to write about this because it weighs on my mind all of the time because the numbers are increasing in wandering children of SN/Autism.
Please be aware...
10 September 2013
First Day of School Fall 2013
Today was Grayson's first day back to school!
I was a little nervous, as all parents are, but I was also very excited as I knew he would have the same teachers and team as he did last spring and this past summer so I knew he would be excited to get back to school and see all the kiddos as well.
He really does love school and I am so thankful for that :)
Nevertheless, I was still a little nervous about pick up and how the teachers would say he did....but they said he did GREAT!
All his teachers said they were so impressed with the progress he has made over the past 3 week break. They were very excited to see him using "More" and also eating all of his food, especially his fruit and veggie purees with only having to ask "Please" if he seemed hesitant.... in the past we use to have to use "First This, Then That" method to get him to eat the fruits and veggies but not anymore! YAY! (at least with the fruits and veggies he has grown use to..we shall see what happens with new ones that he may not like so much).
His daily report was awesome, made me smile so much to see how great of a day he had!
Let the school year begin!
I was a little nervous, as all parents are, but I was also very excited as I knew he would have the same teachers and team as he did last spring and this past summer so I knew he would be excited to get back to school and see all the kiddos as well.
He really does love school and I am so thankful for that :)
Nevertheless, I was still a little nervous about pick up and how the teachers would say he did....but they said he did GREAT!
All his teachers said they were so impressed with the progress he has made over the past 3 week break. They were very excited to see him using "More" and also eating all of his food, especially his fruit and veggie purees with only having to ask "Please" if he seemed hesitant.... in the past we use to have to use "First This, Then That" method to get him to eat the fruits and veggies but not anymore! YAY! (at least with the fruits and veggies he has grown use to..we shall see what happens with new ones that he may not like so much).
His daily report was awesome, made me smile so much to see how great of a day he had!
Let the school year begin!
08 September 2013
Smolak Farm Fun
We have been having tons of fun so far today and its just now noon-thrity!
So far we woke up, played with the iPad, did some scribbling, had some fun out in the yard and then we headed off to Smolak Farms for a family day fun!
I thought about going out to another farm that is about an hour away but then I saw Smolak was having a family day today and decided to go there instead and it was great!
The weather here is 70 degrees with a breeze so it was perfect for being outside with the kiddo.
I was able to get some Mums and Corn Stalk to start decorating outside and Grayson had a blast playing in the kids area with the farm animals and cute play structures!
He kept getting right up on the fences and trying to reach for the handles to go in with the animals! -- thankfully they had big locks on them! I kept having to pull him away a couple of times because the goats were looking at his shirt like it would be a delicious treat and the chickens and turkeys were not in the best of moods lol...but that didn't stop Grayson from being in an awesome mood!
PS: Good thing there was sanitizer EVERYWHERE because as you all know he loves to put his hands in his mouth so he would touch where the animal enclosure and BAM...Sanitize!
There were a couple of play structures too that he had fun on, especially because there were quite a few other kiddos his size playing on and around them and he loooooves being around other kids!
He was squealing with excitement and laughing away at all the fun stuff!
I was going to take him down to the apple orchard and pick some apples but I had the stroller and it did not like all the rocks and gravel so maybe later in the week I will take him back there to run a muck in the orchard and help me pick some yummy apples.
Had to head home though for lunch time and I may take him back out after his nap to let him run around and have some fun again :)
07 September 2013
Best Buds Reunited
Annnnnnnnd we're back!
The flight went great. Grayson slept from take off until landing...easy breezy.
We got home and immediately went and got Karat and then a little grocery shopping but as soon as we got home it was dinner and play time!
Best Buds Reunited! Grayson was SO excited to see Karat! He even shared some of his fish sticks :p
Since Grayson's favorite thing to do here at the house is play outside with Karat...that is exactly what we did. They both just ran around a bit, Grayson laughing his head off at Karat running back and forth and then it was time for the wagon and as soon as I had Karat get in it....Grayson's smile got bigger and bigger :)
I love seeing him light up with Karat, it is just the sweetest thing... and the photo above...one of my favorite photos yet!
Anyway... yes, we are home safe and sound and Fall is already starting here. Some leaves are starting to change and the store already had out pumpkins and Mums (for great prices I must say) so I know where I'll be heading tomorrow or Monday to start making my yard Fall-tastic like I did last year!
There is also Apple Picking up the road...which reminds me, one of my apple trees has 13 apples on it!
Not really sure what the rule is on eating these apples...I will look into that....but it really excites me just to have them to look at!
I just love this time of year...makes me so happy!
Time for a bath and then bed time for the little man....thanks for reading!
The flight went great. Grayson slept from take off until landing...easy breezy.
We got home and immediately went and got Karat and then a little grocery shopping but as soon as we got home it was dinner and play time!
Best Buds Reunited! Grayson was SO excited to see Karat! He even shared some of his fish sticks :p
Since Grayson's favorite thing to do here at the house is play outside with Karat...that is exactly what we did. They both just ran around a bit, Grayson laughing his head off at Karat running back and forth and then it was time for the wagon and as soon as I had Karat get in it....Grayson's smile got bigger and bigger :)
I love seeing him light up with Karat, it is just the sweetest thing... and the photo above...one of my favorite photos yet!
Anyway... yes, we are home safe and sound and Fall is already starting here. Some leaves are starting to change and the store already had out pumpkins and Mums (for great prices I must say) so I know where I'll be heading tomorrow or Monday to start making my yard Fall-tastic like I did last year!
There is also Apple Picking up the road...which reminds me, one of my apple trees has 13 apples on it!
Not really sure what the rule is on eating these apples...I will look into that....but it really excites me just to have them to look at!
I just love this time of year...makes me so happy!
Time for a bath and then bed time for the little man....thanks for reading!
06 September 2013
Chasing Segulls
Today is our last day here in IOP and boy did Grayson have a blast! He really made the most out of his last time down at the beach!
As usual, he was playing in the water and showing absolutely no fear of the water and then his attention shifted....to the seagulls.
He did this, I kid you not, for about 10 minutes. They would eventually fly away and then land near by and he would start chasing them again :)
....and in all fairness...the seagulls were kind of teasing him! He would be chasing them and then they would stop, and so would Grayson and they would turn around and stare at him like, "yeah haha catch me if you can buddy".
It was super cute and people all around the beach that he would run near thought he was adorable.
This is the most time we have spent down at the beach at one time since we have been here. Usually we play in the ocean a bit and then he is done and I take him to the pool for a few minutes and then head back to the house so it was very exciting to see him actually playing on the beach and having fun :)
Aside from chasing the seagulls he also found interest in families playing soccer and little girls his age building sand castles.
So yes, a great last day here in IOP...we are finishing off the night with his dinner of choice... fish sticks with a side of peanut butter crackers, a piece of bread and some pear/pea puree.... by the way, I am pretty sure out little guy has hit a growth spurt!
Now the adults are going to chow down on some PF Changs, finish packing and just relax until time to go to bed.
Back to MA we go tomorrow.
As usual, he was playing in the water and showing absolutely no fear of the water and then his attention shifted....to the seagulls.
Curiouser & Curiouser he is...
He did this, I kid you not, for about 10 minutes. They would eventually fly away and then land near by and he would start chasing them again :)
....and in all fairness...the seagulls were kind of teasing him! He would be chasing them and then they would stop, and so would Grayson and they would turn around and stare at him like, "yeah haha catch me if you can buddy".
It was super cute and people all around the beach that he would run near thought he was adorable.
This is the most time we have spent down at the beach at one time since we have been here. Usually we play in the ocean a bit and then he is done and I take him to the pool for a few minutes and then head back to the house so it was very exciting to see him actually playing on the beach and having fun :)
Aside from chasing the seagulls he also found interest in families playing soccer and little girls his age building sand castles.
So yes, a great last day here in IOP...we are finishing off the night with his dinner of choice... fish sticks with a side of peanut butter crackers, a piece of bread and some pear/pea puree.... by the way, I am pretty sure out little guy has hit a growth spurt!
Now the adults are going to chow down on some PF Changs, finish packing and just relax until time to go to bed.
Back to MA we go tomorrow.
05 September 2013
CRESCENDO!
Love this smile so much:)
...Another great day in IOP is behind us. Grayson had tons of fun playing at the beach again and was even more brave today.. He kept trying to run out deeper and deeper and even got hit right in the face by a small wave and still wanted to go back out! Such an awesome little fish.
Other than the beach we just had a lazy day of hanging out... My sinuses are killing me so I have been very up and down in my energy level today.
We are finishing up his dinner (fish sticks of course, along with a waffle) and sharing some ice cream and watching Little Einsteins on the iPad. If you can't tell from the photo above, he gets crazy happy over the part of this particular episode where Leo shouts "CRESCENDO!"
He has been playing this episode all day and each time is just as happy so I thought I'd catch that happiness in action :)
Now it's time for bed for our little fish.
Goodnight all!
Very Curious FB Page :)
Just wanted to share that I have JUST started a FB Page for the blog at
www.facebook.com/curiouser0curiouser
The blog and FB Page will be one in the same except the FB Page you can send me messages and make comments that I may see more clearly :)
Each time I write a new blog entry I will post it to the FB Page as well so you can get all the updates directly from there!
www.facebook.com/curiouser0curiouser
The blog and FB Page will be one in the same except the FB Page you can send me messages and make comments that I may see more clearly :)
Each time I write a new blog entry I will post it to the FB Page as well so you can get all the updates directly from there!
More!
It is 9:15AM on 9/05/2013 ...and... Grayson signed MORE!
I cannot express to you my happiness over this! I am ecstatic!
Let me explain a little.....
When Grayson was around a year old he was able to sign "More" and "Want" and he also would give High-Fives and Clap when prompted...so we knew he knew what they meant.... but then those little things started to drift away...
I thought I saw a glimpse of it again last year with clapping and giving a high-five but sure enough, about a week into it, he stopped again... this has always spiked my curiosity on wether it is a form of regression or if it is him being bored with his new skill as I have him do the new skills over and over again ...but always with positive reinforcement... and then about a week or two weeks after he gains the new skill (or gains a former skill back) it dwindles away again....so I never know if perhaps I have made too big of a deal over the new skill to the point where he just doesn't want to do it anymore...ever.. or if it is in fact a form of regression :-\
Anyway.... I haven't seen "More" for awhile...a long while -until today!
Grayson had been playing with his iPad and then walked away from it, the noise of the iPad went off (as it does that if it is not being played with for a minute or two) and he turned around and you could tell he was looking for it and he put his hands together in a fist form and did "More"! I was a little shocked and excited at the same time and I wanted to test this possible "More" to see if he really was picking the skill back up again...so I let him play with the iPad for a minute and then I took it away again and hid it behind my back and I signed "More?" to him and sure enough, he signed "More" right back!
I did this back and forth a few more times within that little time frame and then I did it again just a few minutes for starting to type up this blog entry... and each time... he signed for "More!"
Now sometimes it is closed fists and other times it is open palms almost like clapping... so this got me and my Mom wondering if maaaaaaybe when he is randomly running around the house seeming to be clapping... if he is really trying to say he wants "more" of something..... ? His more has always looked like a clap with the occasional closed fists way of doing it...so who knows..... maybe that is why when in the bathtub when he splashes he will clap after each slash and waits for me to splash back because he wants me to splash more and then he will splash more because other times when I try to clap about other things that are exciting like when he does a puzzle he just gives me a funny look.... probably because clapping just might mean "more" to him so when he see's me clap after he finishes a puzzle he is thinking, "no mom i do not want to do anoooooother puzzle" :p
Are you still with me? I know I just talked in a million circles but I am excited and trying to explain the past at the same time. My apologies.
But today, and for however long he decides, we have gained back the skill of signing "More"!
I am going to try to be pretty easy going with it and not overbear him with doing the sign over and over and see if that helps him to retain it longer.
Verrrry curious this little one is...
Pretty proud Mama right now!
I cannot express to you my happiness over this! I am ecstatic!
Let me explain a little.....
When Grayson was around a year old he was able to sign "More" and "Want" and he also would give High-Fives and Clap when prompted...so we knew he knew what they meant.... but then those little things started to drift away...
I thought I saw a glimpse of it again last year with clapping and giving a high-five but sure enough, about a week into it, he stopped again... this has always spiked my curiosity on wether it is a form of regression or if it is him being bored with his new skill as I have him do the new skills over and over again ...but always with positive reinforcement... and then about a week or two weeks after he gains the new skill (or gains a former skill back) it dwindles away again....so I never know if perhaps I have made too big of a deal over the new skill to the point where he just doesn't want to do it anymore...ever.. or if it is in fact a form of regression :-\
Anyway.... I haven't seen "More" for awhile...a long while -until today!
Grayson had been playing with his iPad and then walked away from it, the noise of the iPad went off (as it does that if it is not being played with for a minute or two) and he turned around and you could tell he was looking for it and he put his hands together in a fist form and did "More"! I was a little shocked and excited at the same time and I wanted to test this possible "More" to see if he really was picking the skill back up again...so I let him play with the iPad for a minute and then I took it away again and hid it behind my back and I signed "More?" to him and sure enough, he signed "More" right back!
I did this back and forth a few more times within that little time frame and then I did it again just a few minutes for starting to type up this blog entry... and each time... he signed for "More!"
Now sometimes it is closed fists and other times it is open palms almost like clapping... so this got me and my Mom wondering if maaaaaaybe when he is randomly running around the house seeming to be clapping... if he is really trying to say he wants "more" of something..... ? His more has always looked like a clap with the occasional closed fists way of doing it...so who knows..... maybe that is why when in the bathtub when he splashes he will clap after each slash and waits for me to splash back because he wants me to splash more and then he will splash more because other times when I try to clap about other things that are exciting like when he does a puzzle he just gives me a funny look.... probably because clapping just might mean "more" to him so when he see's me clap after he finishes a puzzle he is thinking, "no mom i do not want to do anoooooother puzzle" :p
Are you still with me? I know I just talked in a million circles but I am excited and trying to explain the past at the same time. My apologies.
But today, and for however long he decides, we have gained back the skill of signing "More"!
I am going to try to be pretty easy going with it and not overbear him with doing the sign over and over and see if that helps him to retain it longer.
Verrrry curious this little one is...
Pretty proud Mama right now!
03 September 2013
Batman is NOT scared of little ole Waves :p
3rd full day here in IOP with the little man.
Yesterday we took him out on a morning walk with my parents and decided to let him out of the stroller and he went straight for the water - fearless! He was wearing a Batman shirt and I mean, come on, who isn't fearless when representing Batman :p
(see photo below)
We took him out again a little later in his bath suit so he could really play in the water and sure enough...he played and played and played.
Then today he went out again TWICE to the beach and TWICE to the pool!
Now... because no SN blog is complete with a little poop story...
I took Grayson out to the beach by myself this morning and on the way back in I stopped at the pool to see if he would play in the pool since he was not interested in playing at my parents pool in TX last week....well he did and he did just fine...buuuuuuuut........as I was getting him out of the pool I noticed he was trying to poop (thank goodness it was when we were getting OUT) and I knew right then and there that it was not going to be a pleasant experience for me as everyone was out and about...and for those of you who have kiddos still in swimmies you know how not fun a poop in those things is.
So I quickly wrapped him in a towel and walked back to the house holding him the whole time hoping poop wasn't dripping down my leg.
When I got him in the house and laid him down to change him it was quickly known that baby wipes and just laying on a towel was not going to cut it...so I ask you to picture a small 5'2" girl trying to clean up the weird texture because of the water in his swimmy while trying to keep the little man from not reaching his hands in "those parts" or getting up and running and then just picking him up and a "LIGHT BULB...Shower!" moment hit me so I picked his little naked self up and ran as fast a could into the bathroom (yes his bottom still covered in poop....the texture was amazing let me tell you) and turned the shower on him with body wash and VOILA! we have a clean boy folks :p
*fhew* I cannot tell you how many "pooptastrophes" we have had and it is not that I haven't wanted to share them...the best ones have just happened when I was really writing in the blog for awhile. But fear not.... there will be more.
Annnnyway, circling back around from my side track poop story moment....
Aside from that fun time, it was another GREAT day! After everyone was back we took him to the beach and the pool again and all went well :)
He really opens up when he is down at the ocean, the same way he opens up when he is around Karat. I love it and I love knowing, at least now anyway, that beach trips CAN and WILL be in our future more often!
01 September 2013
IOP Family Vacation
We have arrived in Isle of Palms SC and are having a blast!
My Mom, Dad and Sister all flew in with myself and Grayson as we were out visiting them in TX and then Zak drove down from MA to visit his family in NC and then drove down there to visit us for a few days before heading to training and our dear family friend, my sisters best friends and basically my second sister, Tracee, also drove down from NC to spend a few days with us :) Very happy we are all here!
I'll be honest...I was not sure how well the beach aspect of the trip was going to go as every time we have taken Grayson to the beach he has always seemed a little overwhelmed ... but he did GREAT today!
He was a little hesitant in the morning (but that could have been because he just woke up) but in the afternoon we took him back out and he loved it. He loved going far out with my Dad and hubs and he loves just standing and sitting the shallow parts letting the waves rush up to him.
He was also very "talkative" while we were out there...making all kinds of happy sounds and just laughing away.
However, as I should have known...he did NOT like when the sand would get on his hands or stick to his feet so when that would happen we would quickly take him back out and rinse him off :p
I was definitely a proud Mommy today :)
31 August 2013
Strange Bites & Airport EMT
Ooooooh boooooy....
Let me just tell you about today so far....
I woke up bright and early this morning...or I should say I never really fell asleep because I knew I had to be up bright and early ...I got myself ready..blah blah blah.
When I woke Grayson up to get him dressed and ready to go I noticed an unusual bite on his elbow:
I went into slight worry mode... thinking it is just a rather unusually large mosquito bite or possibly a spider bite ..but noooo... not a spider bite..
As we drove to the airport and got to the gate I noticed the sucker had grown and looked even more like a bullseye ...and I immediately went into Mommy Panic Mode...oh yeah... I had tears flowing and everything... my anxiety was through the roof!
One of the agents came to look and drew around the outer perimeter and the time to to see if it would be growing more before time to board...and then the EMTs came...yes...yes they did.
I was worried! Don't judge me.
Grayson is nonverbal..so he obviously cannot tell me if he is feeling dizzy or nauseous and we already know he has an unusually high pain tolerance ...the only thing on my side at this point was that he didn't have a fever and he wasn't throwing up..but he did seem off...so yeah.. I was worried.
Well, the EMTs came, checked him out a little but they really didn't know anything to tell us or what to do and there was also a girl who would be on our flight (later to know sitting right behind me) who happened to be a Doctor...she was an Opthamologist but offered to take a look since she had done some time in Peds.
She thought it was not a spider bite but possibly a skin infection or a big mosquito bite and just said to take him to Urgent Care when we land but that he would be just fine to fly.
By this time I was starting to calm down and be okay and just wanted to get on the plane and get going....
But noooo....
A lovely lovely lady that was the supervisor of the agents of this particular airline was telling us that we may not be able to fly since there is a concern.
Her reason was, "if there is a concern we do not want something happening in the air and then have to make an emergency landing...that would put everyone at risk."
You mean...that would inconvenience everyone...
Now Now, I understand COMPLETELY that having Grayson fly and something happening in the air is not something we would want to happen, but not try to tell me everyone would be at risk for having to stop somewhere before our final landing place....lets just call it what it is and that you would rather us not fly just to be safe than possibly inconvenience everyone.
Anyway, the EMTs and the girl who was a doctor told the lady that everything was fine and gave him the green light to fly but she kept saying, "well thats our call"
She finally decided to tell us that yes, we could fly and then got very rude and told us to hurry up because our plane had been boarding for quite some time....Really?! ....There was NO ONE boarding yet. Every single person who was going to be on our plane was sitting down at the gate and when she started saying that everyone popped up with confusion and she just kept saying that WE were holding everyone up! At this point I started saying lovely things about this oh so lovely lady at a volume level that she may or may not have been able to hear me ;)
As we were going to board the plane, she of course had something to say about our car seat (it has a little attachment with wheels on it so we don't have to take a stroller...it is quite possibly one of the coolest things). We have flown with Grayson....I would say 30+ times since he was born...20 of them being with that cool car seat attachment and every time we fly with this particular airline they ALWAYS give me a hard time about it even though I tell them I fly all the time with it and there is never an issue...but she couldn't leave it at that...she stalked us...yes I am using the work stalk....she stalked us alll the way to the plane and told the flight attendants she wanted to make sure my car seat was okay...really lady? I just wanted to turn around and punch her right in the face!
She finally left us alone...but I mean seriously...give me an effing break...Not today lady... NOT TODAY!
We finally got seated and the lady returned...but not for us...she pulled a girl off the plane because she was wearing too short of a skirt! I have heard of this but I have never actually seen it to know it was true!
Anyway, we finally got up in the air and Grayson did great on the plane (as usual::knock on wood) and we have landed safely in Charleston.
I got him to the Urgent Care and it turns out....it really is just a bad bug bite....
Yes, I am that Mom that makes a fuss about a bug bite...but hey, if you had a kid who couldn't talk, know he has a high pain tolerance and had a "bug bite" that looked that like?!
On a cute note...the EMTs did give Grayson a cute stuffed hurt bear...too bad he doesn't care for stuffed animals :p
Now to enjoy the rest of the evening ...
Let me just tell you about today so far....
I woke up bright and early this morning...or I should say I never really fell asleep because I knew I had to be up bright and early ...I got myself ready..blah blah blah.
When I woke Grayson up to get him dressed and ready to go I noticed an unusual bite on his elbow:
I went into slight worry mode... thinking it is just a rather unusually large mosquito bite or possibly a spider bite ..but noooo... not a spider bite..
As we drove to the airport and got to the gate I noticed the sucker had grown and looked even more like a bullseye ...and I immediately went into Mommy Panic Mode...oh yeah... I had tears flowing and everything... my anxiety was through the roof!
One of the agents came to look and drew around the outer perimeter and the time to to see if it would be growing more before time to board...and then the EMTs came...yes...yes they did.
I was worried! Don't judge me.
Grayson is nonverbal..so he obviously cannot tell me if he is feeling dizzy or nauseous and we already know he has an unusually high pain tolerance ...the only thing on my side at this point was that he didn't have a fever and he wasn't throwing up..but he did seem off...so yeah.. I was worried.
Well, the EMTs came, checked him out a little but they really didn't know anything to tell us or what to do and there was also a girl who would be on our flight (later to know sitting right behind me) who happened to be a Doctor...she was an Opthamologist but offered to take a look since she had done some time in Peds.
She thought it was not a spider bite but possibly a skin infection or a big mosquito bite and just said to take him to Urgent Care when we land but that he would be just fine to fly.
By this time I was starting to calm down and be okay and just wanted to get on the plane and get going....
But noooo....
A lovely lovely lady that was the supervisor of the agents of this particular airline was telling us that we may not be able to fly since there is a concern.
Her reason was, "if there is a concern we do not want something happening in the air and then have to make an emergency landing...that would put everyone at risk."
You mean...that would inconvenience everyone...
Now Now, I understand COMPLETELY that having Grayson fly and something happening in the air is not something we would want to happen, but not try to tell me everyone would be at risk for having to stop somewhere before our final landing place....lets just call it what it is and that you would rather us not fly just to be safe than possibly inconvenience everyone.
Anyway, the EMTs and the girl who was a doctor told the lady that everything was fine and gave him the green light to fly but she kept saying, "well thats our call"
She finally decided to tell us that yes, we could fly and then got very rude and told us to hurry up because our plane had been boarding for quite some time....Really?! ....There was NO ONE boarding yet. Every single person who was going to be on our plane was sitting down at the gate and when she started saying that everyone popped up with confusion and she just kept saying that WE were holding everyone up! At this point I started saying lovely things about this oh so lovely lady at a volume level that she may or may not have been able to hear me ;)
As we were going to board the plane, she of course had something to say about our car seat (it has a little attachment with wheels on it so we don't have to take a stroller...it is quite possibly one of the coolest things). We have flown with Grayson....I would say 30+ times since he was born...20 of them being with that cool car seat attachment and every time we fly with this particular airline they ALWAYS give me a hard time about it even though I tell them I fly all the time with it and there is never an issue...but she couldn't leave it at that...she stalked us...yes I am using the work stalk....she stalked us alll the way to the plane and told the flight attendants she wanted to make sure my car seat was okay...really lady? I just wanted to turn around and punch her right in the face!
She finally left us alone...but I mean seriously...give me an effing break...Not today lady... NOT TODAY!
We finally got seated and the lady returned...but not for us...she pulled a girl off the plane because she was wearing too short of a skirt! I have heard of this but I have never actually seen it to know it was true!
Anyway, we finally got up in the air and Grayson did great on the plane (as usual::knock on wood) and we have landed safely in Charleston.
I got him to the Urgent Care and it turns out....it really is just a bad bug bite....
Yes, I am that Mom that makes a fuss about a bug bite...but hey, if you had a kid who couldn't talk, know he has a high pain tolerance and had a "bug bite" that looked that like?!
On a cute note...the EMTs did give Grayson a cute stuffed hurt bear...too bad he doesn't care for stuffed animals :p
Now to enjoy the rest of the evening ...
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