Having Zak home has been more perfect than I ever could have imagined.
Just being able to be us, together, has been so wonderful.
Having him home makes me realize even more so than before, how much I have truly missed him, and how hard it is going to be to see him leave again.
Especially seeing him with Grayson, it makes my heart just light up, and then I get so miserably sad inside thinking about how sad Zak is going to be to leave him again, and yes, Grayson is only 9 months old (about) but he has been having so much fun with his Daddy, he knows exactly who he is.
When anyone says, "Grayson, where's Daddy?", he looks around and finds him, and then when he figures out where he is, and you ask him again, "Grayson, where's Daddy?" he turns and looks directly at him and just smiles so big! Oh its amazing. I just feel like Grayson is going to know he is gone when he leaves again and is going to be confused and sad, but I will do as I did before, and play all the videos and pictures....etc to make it so he gets to see his face and hear his voice daily so he doesnt have to miss him AS much.
Grayson is also saying "Dada" now which is AMAZING! Since he got his hearing aids he has been saying it every now and then. Sometimes more clear than others, but you know that is definitely what he is saying and/or trying to say.
Everything just feels right in the world with Zak home. I feel so much more at ease with everything with him home. Not wanting to be glued to my phone and my computer every minute has been so great, just having him next to me and not having to wait to see if he can get online or call....just looking next to me and there he is....brings so much peace and happiness I cant explain it.
My mind, everything about me is so much more mellow with him home, and him being home makes me be ME again....I am always me, but with him I am always more of me than I am with anyone else. We are so silly together it amazes me, I dont think anyone else could be with either of us and find us as funny as we find each other.
I have always known it, but him being home has tripled my knowing....that we are perfect for each other. Everything about us. Even our differences complement each other. I couldnt ask for a more perfect match to spend my life with.
I want to babble on and on but I have a feeling I will start getting really sappy here soon and then go from sappy to sad, so I am going to cut this off now :)
I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season so far!
to the monster star and back
No comments:
Post a Comment